maan, maan!
why does it always have to be maan?!!
if it's not maan, it's raizza.
hello.
i know, and kind of sure, that you have no idea that i have feelings for you.
you are just plain insensitive.
and that's ok with me.
'cause if you knew, and didn't care, that would be painful.
and if you knew and insulted me for that, i'll just be broken, again.
being broken once is already painful.
that's enough.
twice is vanity.
maan.
you tell me about how you bonded.
you tell me how sad you are 'cause you may not see us, or rather, them (or her) ever again.
hell, i know it's just them. worst, i know it's just her et al.
you know exactly how many of her friends were with her.
you know her by name and by her face!
it's almost just her!
you don't know ALL of us!
you don't even know me! ouch.
and then there's raizza and cath.
hell, one girl is enough, and then you add two more?!!
they're so lucky, don't you think?
who wore glasses? do you even care?!
and while talking to me, you ask me about who she was with?!
who her companions were?!
you ask me if i know them all?!
heck, i know i said i only look at a few people.
but the truth is, i only look at you.
for the longest time...
you ask me her seatmates.
what do i know?!!!
and then you think you're a bad person just because you can't remember the names of her companions?!
how about when you done me wrong?
did you feel like a bad person?
did you think about my feelings?
did you even care at all??
you ask for our directory.
so you can recall them.
them b*tches of yours.
f*ck, i'm sick of this!
it's already hard for me to get over that thing that you did to me.
and it's twice as hard for me to move on; to get over you.
but how can i?
when it's you i think about.
when you hurt me like this over and over again..
i keep waiting.
i keep on dreaming.
i imagine the impossible, the wish that wasn't supposed to be made in the first place.
to myself:
i'm sorry, i've failed you once again.
you've fallen, and nobody caught you.
one-sided and all..
L,
stop.
stop it now, please.
i know you have no idea of what i'm talking about.
but please, stop while it's not too shattered.
leave a piece for the next one too, if there will be any..
and i cry again.
***
currently listening to sorrow by flyleaf.
sorrow lives and lasts.
you didn't even say goodbye..